Sunday, January 27, 2013

pins and needles

Pins and needles in my mind
Throb, throb, throb
Thinking, waiting, and moving
All amount to pain
I cannot stay
The throbbing must continue
Until all the pins and needles
Come to rest again
In a stiff pin cushion
Rather than my mรถbius mind
Pull out a pin
And I'm wincing
Memories seep
From the place
Where the pin had plugged my mind
Time and more time
Until all of the points
Return to their cotton bed
Their peace, their home
My heart is uneasy
A mind without pins and needles
Means a pin-pricked future
The source of hurt is gone
Leaving memories to fill the holes
The gaps in my mind
Where hurt once was
No more throbbing
Just a zigzag history flowing out
Though I strive so hard to keep it in
Uncomfortable vulnerability
Is met with honest comfort
Reassurance that gaps in my mind
Whether empty or filled
Are markers of imperfection, forgiveness
And my daily need for grace
Nothing can separate me
From the love of Christ

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{and hope does not put us to shame}