- First seed in prelims: make me look good, show I'm a good debater
- Maintain our DUO standing: don't want to get worse, "need" points for nationals
- Blog: to connect with God
- Be in heaven: i was sick of the world; i wanted to get away from my problems, not solve them
- Be thinner: make me look better in the mirror
- Eat: be happy and yummy
- Nationals: i couldn't figure this one out!!! I knew I wanted to do our duo there (to what end?) I knew if we made it in debate too, so my parents would have a great likelihood of actually letting us go to Nationals at all.
1 To man belong the plans of the heart,
but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue.
2 All a man's ways seem innocent to him,
but motives are weighed by the LORD.
3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed.
4 The LORD works out everything for his own ends—
even the wicked for a day of disaster.
9 In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.
20 Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers,
and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD.
25 There is a way that seems right to a man,
but in the end it leads to death.
33 The lot is cast into the lap,
but its every decision is from the LORD.
Eight verses in one chapter! Yeah, I can say whatever I want to do, but God is the one who makes anything happen. God isn't going to let me get these things if they aren't pleasing to him. So, I need to make my plans please him. I need to give my own desires over to God and let him have them all.
Let's impact this a bit. How do my desires fit in with all this? (actually my desires have kinda wilted now) Last night, I felt God telling me that the only way I'm going to nationals is if I going to please him only! I 'm not going there on my merit, or to have fun. My plans need to please him. My goals no longer have to do with how well I do, but with my ability to be a Godly witness and example. Last year I wanted to go to a debate conference to see my friends. That was such a hollow goal. I realized that I could not go to that conference with that goal. God changed my goals and I went to learn and to encourage others. It's like that for Nationals. I now know if my goals are self-aggrandizing, I will not go to Nationals.
But what if all my goals in life are turned to God and I still don't get what I wanted originally? Two responses 1. I don't need to. If I've given God my goals, I don't need to care whether I get what I wanted originally or not. 2. Who cares? All things in life that I may have wanted before are pointless in the long run. Everything passes away.
I mean, its going to hurt if pleasing God is my goal, but we still don't go to Nationals. Yes, it's going to hurt alot. But really... God can use me in many ways without going to Nationals. I can still do his will even if it isn't my will. As I submit my will to God, I learn to love what he has planned for me. I know from experience that his plans always work and mine usually don't. =D Besides all that, what could Nationals have benefited me if it wasn't will?
All in all, maybe this blog post hasn't changed what I desire or what I do, but at very least I cannot help looking at things in a different light. God's light, I hope. Maybe this has no impact on you, readers. It should though. If you give your plans over to God, He will work everything to benefit you. On your account, though, do what pleases God. Leave planning your life to Him.