Friday, June 21, 2013

curbside thoughts

[Inspired by my commute to work and "Welcome Home," by Radical Face]

If I walk along the edge of the curb
Hard concrete to my left
Bright green grass to my right
Will you be the one to steady my steps?
I’m stumbling again
Into mellow contentment
And then heartless dark
Neither of which please my dreamer’s soul
Which, unlike most, must be taught to hope

Peace does not come easily
When my naïve idealism
Assumes it can change reality’s norms
And finds itself mistaken
I cannot remain
Cannot remain stable
Why expect balance in the middle
When I was only meant to trip
On one side or the other?

I know you’ve seen me fall
Fall thousands of times
Your patience is everlasting
Who is this man who died
So that I could fall
And be brought back to home every time?
Teach me to sing your new song
I cannot walk alone
And you are by my side
Even there your hand will guide me
Your right hand will hold me fast

~

{Peel the scars from off my back, I don’t need them anymore}

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

grace upon grace

[Inspired by "Everything You're Not Supposed to Be," Damien Rice & Melanie Laurent, and John 1:16]


The sunshine is playing tricks with my mind
It's cold outside, but looks so warm
So I grab my coat and head to class
My walking turns to prancing
As I realize the warmth
Is as true as the cold I felt before
It's all a matter of perspective
In this strangely wonderful springtime weather

Birds singing, trees budding
Flowers appearing where mud was yesterday
I'm encountering bliss so expected
Yet unexpectedly new and glorious
Forgive my fright
Forgive my lack of faith
Forgive my lonely selfishness
All shall be made new

If the spring does not hold a grudge
Against winter for being cold
How can I?
If spring fulfills all of fall's promises
How can I be bitter about the winter
That came in between?
You have always been faithful to me
So why does my trust depend on the sunshine?

[I know I was everything
You're not supposed to be
To someone that you love]
And yet, You love me
Forgetful and faithless as I am
From his fullness we have received
Grace upon grace
In both winter and spring

Friday, March 8, 2013

crocus

Hope is pushing through the ground
The way that the springtime crocus
Is beginning to come up in the yard
First a leaf, then a bud entering this world
Of half-winter, strange chills, and sweet breezes
I see the beauty, but feel the risk
That hope must run to breathe above soil
In surfacing, hope is introduced to
Cold, danger, sadness, and frost
Things that force the buds into closed withdrawal
And yet, sunrises and friendly birds
A warmth that enhances hope's essence
How can hope regret budding
When it thrives on sunlight found above?
Where is fear when hope knows
That her creator has made
Everything beautiful in its time?

Sunday, January 27, 2013

pins and needles

Pins and needles in my mind
Throb, throb, throb
Thinking, waiting, and moving
All amount to pain
I cannot stay
The throbbing must continue
Until all the pins and needles
Come to rest again
In a stiff pin cushion
Rather than my möbius mind
Pull out a pin
And I'm wincing
Memories seep
From the place
Where the pin had plugged my mind
Time and more time
Until all of the points
Return to their cotton bed
Their peace, their home
My heart is uneasy
A mind without pins and needles
Means a pin-pricked future
The source of hurt is gone
Leaving memories to fill the holes
The gaps in my mind
Where hurt once was
No more throbbing
Just a zigzag history flowing out
Though I strive so hard to keep it in
Uncomfortable vulnerability
Is met with honest comfort
Reassurance that gaps in my mind
Whether empty or filled
Are markers of imperfection, forgiveness
And my daily need for grace
Nothing can separate me
From the love of Christ

Friday, October 19, 2012

all is grace

Most melancholy days are foggy
This one was just cloudy
Watching the skies, enraptured
I seek out blue patches of light
The day is not luminescent
Nor does the sunset boast loudly
It’s only me and the clouds
Traveling, while I still stay
Lost in wonder, maybe
Afraid that I am trapped, more likely
I remember that water is no wall
That clouds protect me from weather
And light penetrates the thickest of those covers

Most days, I am a cloud
Today, that flower is me
Except I stole the cloud’s tears
Now with both raindrops and petals
I know my weakness
My stem is straining from the weight
When I thought the water would cure me
Would that my petals would break
Stretch and rip as consequence
For my selfish thirst
But the clouds do not condemn me
The blue sky does not condemn me
Sunshine does not condemn me
Only I condemn me
As warmth returns
It lifts the weight of pity
From my fragile frame
All is grace
All is grace
{and hope does not put us to shame}